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Hellfire and Brimstone

By Gene Helsel

"Oh brother, not this guy again! That’s the same nut I heard out at the lake last weekend."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look over there." The two men directed their attention across the street where a small crowd had gathered around a fiery-eyed preacher.

"What the…"

"Remember the hellfire and brimstone preacher I was telling you about?

"Oh yeah, last Sunday up at the lake."

"Right. That’s him."

"Not much to look at is he?"

"Yeah, but wait ‘til he warms up a bit. It’s really quite a show."

As if on cue, the preacher across the street launched into his sermon.

"Oh good. This is the same harangue that I heard last weekend. You’re gonna love this. Wait….. here it comes."

Across the street the preacher boomed, "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, than to go to hell with two hands, into the fire that shall never be quenched - where the worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched."

"Alright, let’s go."

"What?"

"I said let’s go. I don’t have to stand around here listening to that goody-two-shoes railing about my sin. I’ve got enough things trying to beat me down into the dust without listening to that kind of garbage."

"Okay we’ll leave. But I just want to hear this next part again before we do. Listen..." The preacher continued, "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched - where the worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched."

"Oh, that’s uplifting! And what’s that ‘worm’ stuff he’s yelling about?"

"Oh right. I asked somebody about that last Sunday. They said it’s a quote from the Old Testament about worms and maggots eating the flesh of all these dead bodies and stuff…"

"Well, I think I’ve about lost my appetite for the day."

"It looks like his listeners have lost theirs as well. Everyone’s leaving. If that guy wants to keep his audience he better think about changing his message a bit. Someone should tell him to lose that ‘sin and worm’ thing. It’s way too negative."

"Did you happen to catch the poor guy’s name, or where he’s from?"

"Yeah, sort of. My father used to buy furniture from his dad who had a little wood-shop over in Nazareth."

"That figures."

"Yeah, that’s what I said."